Clearing Space was the Sunday School Lesson Channel this last month. It really worked on me personally and I got to clean-up a lot in my life. I did one that I had let sit for five years. The funny thing is it was way better emotionally than I imagined, which is often why we avoid a cleanup in the first place. Waiting for divine guidance to do the clean-up timing, when my guides gave me the go-ahead, made all the difference. It can make you feel a whole less guilty about letting stuff stack up! I threw out or recycled two carloads of things that I couldn't decide on when I sold my house five years ago. I let spirit guide me on every decision. My body acts as a pendulum, and I can ask a yes or no question, and then my head and sometimes body swings either yes or no. Just like that, I either kept or recycled the item -no matter its value. Once I removed myself and my feelings from the experience, it was no biggie. After many hours of sifting through a thousand decisions, the fatigue and overwhelm that I was predicting (that has hit at every other time in my life doing this sort of task) never showed up. I felt neutral. I wasn't even tired. That was a first in my life!
That wasn't the only cleanup this month. My guides began directing me to what I could eat and drink, as well as when and how much. It sounds like a lovely way to take away decision fatigue. That is, until you are eating some weird ass-tasting stuff! I found myself hangry or perceiving that I was starving merely because I had given up control. To be clear, I am not a person who has struggled with eating well; I am a health nut, and I didn't need to lose weight, etc. This clean-up was about letting go of control and trusting. Everything we do takes a certain amount of energy, and because I lack that universal view, my guides have to see what I need to sustain and thrive in the moment. It's been hard letting that part of me go, but it's also fascinating!
I let my guides take over most of my life this month. When I am traveling in my Sprinter Van and have to choose a place to sleep, they will direct me precisely to a place to park the van. They tell me when to make plans and when to leave the space open. They decide for me whether I get to pursue a relationship or not. It means driving to Yosemite from San Francisco for twenty-two hours. Then, going back and not climbing (ugh!!). It means doing many things that I need help to make sense of the narrative and doing it anyway. TRUST!
Why might you ask, do I trust so divinely?
The short answer is I don't. A lot of times, I am fighting the situation. But as far as the score of things, when can I measure the results of my guides? They are right in their eyes 100% and 90% in mine. Meaning I sometimes feel like they "lie" to me, but I guess you have to do what you have gotta do to get someone to follow through sometimes:) Being a Shaman can be challenging. However, it's also an exhilarating adventure.
